DSA 2003 Spring Lyric Reviews
Review:
1st Place Winner
Spring 2003 Lyric Contest
By
SaraLee Rehkopf
SaraLee’s lyric, ‘Daddy’s Fiddle’, would have been a great example for a class study on the use of alliteration…some examples: ‘Hangs in the hollows,’ ‘burns through the haze, ‘winding, weeds, wild’ – all added with wonderful visuals and phrases that are a fest for the senses. A well-crafted lyric, my only nit would be that the chorus and verses are a bit too similar. A break in line lengths and stress that differentiated the chorus from the verses might be something to consider.
Review:
2nd Place Winner
Spring 2003 Lyric Contest
By
Alex Townes
Beautiful
visual given full of emotion by Alex in ‘Rainbows In Her Tears’ of a
bride’s walk down the aisle with sparkling metaphors of rainbows as tears,
clouds as a veil, lifting in the mist, etc. I think the first verse, which is
the strongest in the lyric by far, should open first with the chorus following
instead of leading, so the listener really understands early on what the song is
about. The first line of the chorus, ‘there’s beauty in her walk, she wears
her mother’s dress’ gives us a very clear picture of what is happening. The
chorus struggles with the heart/apart/start rhyme endings that do more harm with
the overused rhyme couplets than it helps with the message that needs to get
through and a bridge that really breaks from the verses would give this lyric a
promising future.
Review:
3rd Place Winner
Spring 2003 Lyric Contest
Don’t
Hide Your Wings
By Virginia Humphries
Good start for an inspirational song. Best part: verse 2…’can’t smell the roses from a hundred feet away, can’t dance you know it if the music doesn’t play…..Chorus and title need to stay away from the negative, however. Shift to a positive note or action and the lyric will be inspiring.