3rd
Place
This is a nice lyric. I suggest you repeat another climb after verse 2. Is it ending on verse 3? There's no phrase that stood out in the chorus, but the lyric did stir a little emotion. I wanted to know more about the story. Who is this person, what happened?
It's
got great imagery and although the story is sad, it is still uplifting. The
rhymes are good and consistent. I thought it was a wonderful story with a
good ending.
Judge
3
Really great
imagery. There were some lines that really touched me- those in the climb,
“With one last look before I go, I see two angels in the snow” and in the
last verse, “ I breathe your name into the air, and like frost crystals, it hangs
there.” The climb would have been most effective right before the last chorus
or as part of the chorus. The rest of the lyric, however, was written in poem
form and would require a rewrite with more conversational words before it was
song-worthy.