1ST PLACE DSA 2005
FALL LYRIC CONTEST

Judges Comments
 

When You Were Around is well written and very visual, invoking the sight, sound and feeling of the song.  The metaphors (first verse, music, 2nd verse, the coldness of the winter night) were strong and carried through each verse. The juxtaposition of happy, crazy, warm and cold kept the interest. I only wish verse three had given us the reason for the separation (death, divorce, disinterest).  Good job.
 

When You Were Around
BB Seiler

The memories pour in
I feel my heart race.
The music of your laughter
Was the sweetest sound.
It filled the room
When you were around.

Looking out my window
I can see your ghost
In swirls of snowy moonlight
Leaning on the old lamp post
Staring up at me
From on the ground
I used to run to kiss you
When you were around

When you were around
I was happy…
Without feeling happiness would ever end,
Without caring what was just around the bend.
I was crazy…
To believe I couldn’t lose what I had found.
Things were better
When you were around.

Touching your picture
I remember when..
You said you loved me
I said it back and then….
With a quick force
Our lives were bound.
I felt safer
When you were around. 

see the Lyric Judging Criteria

(BACK TO LYRIC CONTEST PAGE)

(HOME)