Judge’s Critique

Contest:

Winter 2005

Title:

Author(s):

BB Seiler

Result:

Judge’s Score Sheet

Category

Score

Notes

Emotional Impact

1   2   3   4   5

 Funny...many can relate to it

Hook

1   2   3   4   5

Hook doesn't repeat itself. Chorus is long.

Originality

1   2   3   4   5

 Parts of 1st verse - strong, main idea has been done many times

Appeal

1   2   3   4   5

 Fairly wide appeal

Focus

1   2   3   4   5

 Movement good, message clear-Needs stronger chorus and a bridge

Phrasing/Cadence

1   2   3   4   5

 Good - easy on the tongue. 

Form

1   2   3   4   5

 Verses/Chorus a little long. Rhyme scheme doesn't change from verse to chorus nor line lengths

TOTAL SCORE

20

Judges Comments

Overall, pretty entertaining. My favorite part was the last part of the first verse...that kept me going with a chuckle. Seidler captures a very current and hot discussion taking the reality shows to the living room. Unfortunately, a husband's suggestion to the wife to get some plastic surgery proves fatal in a relationship and the wife suggests a little 'surgery' on the marriage. 

A song title should say a lot about the song, but "So Long To You" doesn't give us much on what the song is about. The chorus doesn't quite do the job it should do. The test is if it still keeps your attention and is memorable. But by the second chorus, it wears a little thin. The first half would work, however, as a climb leading into the 1st chorus and the second half of the chorus which offers the solution and a change - "So long to you!," seems more appropriate as a bridge. I'd like to see the writer focus on 'self-improvement' tying in plastic surgery theme in the chorus. All in all, a very good start and with some easy changes, and good music, it could have strong potential for an artist cut.